Ep. 156 Leprechaun Returns

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In honor of St. Paddy’s Day we’re going back to the well and doing a leprechaun movie. This year’s offering is “Leprechaun Returns”. We didn’t have high hopes for this SyFy Original movie, but they must have captured some of that Luck of the Irish, because it turned out to be surprisingly good. Featuring good writing, solid acting, great naturally flowing and subtle humor, and awesome kills that we’ve never seen before made this horror movie worth its weight in gold.

Ep. 155 Old 37

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If you like excessive slow motion and flashbacks then you’re going to love this week’s listener suggested car wreck of a movie, “Old 37”. IF you didn’t know any better you’d swear that “Old 37” was a MTV produced teenaged soap opera loosely disguised as horror movie about two killer paramedics. Even horror icons Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley can’t resuscitate this dead on arrival turd of a movie.

Ep. 154 Island of Blood

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This week we’re inviting you to join us on a little island vacation get away as we visit the “Island of Blood”. This little 1982 slasher features all the trademarks of a horrible horror movie, bad writing, stiff acting, possible the worst sex scene ever put on film, and terrible to nonexistent lighting. It also stars a mew-wave punk song that gets more screen time then most of the starring actors, the song starts of catchy but by the end of the movie it will make you want stab yourself in your ears with a screwdriver. However, it’s not all bad though, this movie does have surprisingly good kills and decent gore for a film of its caliber.

Bonus: Bracketology 2018/2019

Hey Moongoons, its that time of year again. Its time for Horrible Horror’s March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness! In this bonus episode the guys sit down and fill out this year’s bracket and break down each match up. Along the way Marshall and Aaron both make their picks on which movie they think will win it al and be crowned this year’s WOSRT of the WORST Champion! We also announce a new fun contest Challenge.

Ep. 153 Cryptz

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Do you like cheap ghetto rip offs of “From Dusk Till Dawn” filled with horrible acting neck snapping and breaking, over the top cursing and an even cheaper Chris Tucker rip off? We then we’ve got the movie for you! This week we delved into the 2002 Full Moon release that is “Cryptz”. This grade A dog turd also features the world’s most fragile voodoo vampires, a ghetto Van Helloing that is also a voodoo expert AND kung-fu master, and the world’s worst stripper.

Ep. 152 Lasso

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Yee-hah and giddy up Moongoons! This week we’re taking a trip to the rodeo to take on the fairly new horror movie “Lasso”. This bronco busting ride of good time film features roided out killer rodeo cowboys, a one armed bull riding bad ass, great kills with wonderful practical effects, and a bus full of senior citizen fodder. So, grab the reigns and saddle up, its going to be one hell of a rodeo!

Ep. 151 Iced

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Winter is in full effect and with it comes the frightful weather, but that’s no where near as frightful as this week’s movie “iced”. This ski themed slasher from 1988 features bad skiing, even worse acting, visually no gore, and an ex-child star that spends nearly her entire time naked in a tub. Along with a killer wearing a bright blue puffy ski coat and one of the worst and most logic defying endings in all of horror.

Ep. 150 Death House

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Here we go Moon-goons, we’re going big for our 150th episode! This week we’re getting sentenced to hell and locked up in the “Death House”. The movie that has been dubbed “The Expendables” of horror features pretty much every name in horror that you can think of, horrible CGI, terrible dialogue, immortal super powered villains that look like they’re from Krypton, and a surprising lack of gore. However, it will leave you confused, angry and very disappointed, so yeah there’s that. In the end when the dust settles will we give “Death House” a pardon or will we give it the death sentence? Here’s a hint its the latter.

Ep. 148 Minutes to Midnight

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The New Year is coming in fast so we’re ending 2018 with a bang! This week we’re celebrating the New Year by taking on the New Year’s Eve horror movie “Minutes to Midnight”. This relatively new slasher stars William Baldwin, a skeletal Richard Grieco and features horror icon Bill Moseley phoning it in. This film also features horrible continuity errors, a son who is older than his father, an ex-wrestler, and killers that looks like they were either ripped out of the pages from a Batman comic or were Mortal Kombat rejects. However, despite all that it does have some gnarly looking weapons, great fight scenes and was surprising fun to watch.

Ep. 147 Blood Beat

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Christmas is fast approaching and nothing says Christmas quite like telepathic psychic battles and the killer ghost of an ancient samurai warrior. Well, okay everything probably says Christmas more than that. This week we’re taking our samurai katanas and slicing up the very rare and even stranger “Blood Beat”. This 1982 gem of movie truly needs to be seen. It’s combination of horrid acting, comically bad, yet awesome special effects, and insanely bizarre plot make for a one of a kind unforgettable movie watching experience. Do yourself a favor and watch this movie.

Ep. 146 Mercy Christmas

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The holiday season is here, so you know what that means, Moongoons? It’s once again time for out month long Christmas Horror movie special. This year we’re kicking it off with a delicious feast of a movie, “Mercy Christmas”. This surprisingly good indie film, which we think is destined to become a new Christmas Horror classic, manages to combine horror, humor, and heart in a perfectly wrapped gift for the viewers. We do our best to fully describe and bring this movie to life for you, but “Mercy Christmas” needs to be seen to fully and truly appreciate it’s wonderfully awesome absurdness.

Ep. 145 Blood Freak

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Happy Thanksgiving, Moongoons! This week we’re offering up a true cinematic feast, “Blood Freak”. An incredibly bizarre yet wonderfully awful piece of movie history. This one of a kind film from 1972, truly needs to be seen to fully understand and appreciate its awesome awfulness. Featuring a chain smoking narrator, drugs, Bible thumpers, the Italian Tarzan, experimental turkey meat, along with horrendous editing, horrific acting, horrible sound, the worst screaming ever heard played on a loop, and music stings that will make your ears bleed. Do yourself a favor and listen to this episode, then watch “Blood Freak” for yourself, you won’t be disappointed.

Bonus: Camp Death 3 in 2D

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Hey, Moongoons, have you ever watched a good horror movie and then thought to yourself “Boy, I wish someone would make a stupid, and I mean a really retarded overly stupid version of this movie?” Well, if you have then “Camp Death 3 in 2D” is the movie for you. This soon to be released indie film is a spoof of the classic “Friday the 13th Part 3” and strives to be one of the stupidest movies ever made. And we think that they succeeded in that goal, probably too much so. This craziness called a movie features a cocaine addicted squirrel, puppets, speeder bike chases ripped from “Star Wars”, offensive characters and dialogue and more “F-bombs” than all of Quentin Tarantino’s movies combined.

Ep. 144 Hell Week

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Holy discombobulated mess, Moongoons! We don’t even know where to begin with this crazy drunken mess of an indie movie. We can tell you that it features more characters than a J.R.R. Tolken novel, including college kids, a psycho family of maniacs, ghosts, and vampires, along with a run time that lives up to both “Hell” and “Week”. Oh, did we mention that one of the vampires is a skate boarding vampire girl in lingerie?

Ep. 143 Pledges

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Eight college kids camping in the woods and getting killed. It’s a tale as old as time, so you would think that it would be pretty hard to fuck it up, right? Well, the 2018 “Pledges” managed to find a way to do just that. Is this indie film a ghost movie, a demon movie, an alien movie, or a hodgepodge smash up of all of the above? The Hell if we know! All we know for sure is that we don’t know what the fuck we just watched? However, it does have surprisingly good special and visual effects and tolerable acting.

Ep. 142 Dark Walker

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It’s Halloween weekend and we’re wrapping up our tour of haunted house themed movies with a visit to Hobb’s Grove, California to carve up “Dark Walker”. A 2003 indie movie that features a killer hippie monster with OCD, one dimensional characters devoid of personality, awful writing, California sized plot holes, and a plot that makes less and less sense as the movie goes on. However, it does have decent kills and gore for its budget and buckets upon buckets of blood. Sadly, that’s not enough to save this movie from being total garbage, so much so, that for the first time ever we actually came back after signing off to rant about this movie some more. So , stay tuned after the episode would normally end for the bonus segment.

Bonus: The Houses October Built 2

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In this special bonus mini episode host Marshall Hampton sits down with long time guest and HHP all-star Chris Samples, to drink beers and discuss “The Houses October Built 2”. The original “The Houses October Built” has gained a spot on our “all time most hated movies” list and whose sheer mention of it sends Chris into a blind rage. So, of course we had to bring him back, sit him down and force him to watch the sequel. Will this be the movie that finally makes Chris snap?